Being in a committed relationship requires work, and sometimes you lose your way. Couples often come to see me and are stuck in familiar arguments and negative feelings. They’re disconnected and feel alone and frustrated. Because they tend to get caught in negative loops, the real pain and needs never get expressed.

Beneath the negative cycle is often deeper feelings of resentment around needs not being met. Each partner may not even be in touch with these needs, but stuck in feeling a familiar sense of frustration and aloneness. These feelings are often at the root of the problem and need to be uncovered in order for healing to occur.

We’ll work toward healing your connection in the following ways:

  • Naming and identifying the negative dance that results in fighting and distance
  • Learning how to interrupt the negative cycle, take space, and work towards a more peaceful and satisfying repair
  • Getting in touch with deeper feelings connected to past hurt and woundings: affairs, emotional affairs, substance use, fights, etc.
  • Understanding needs that have gone unexpressed or that have been expressed indirectly with anger or distancing
  • Developing new ways of communicating needs and emotions based on authenticity and empathy
  • Rebuilding trust and intimacy based on feelings of safety
  • Feeling more securely attached to your partner and a new dedication to the “we space”

My goal in working with couples is to gently uncover the deeper feelings and needs, and to guide them towards more safety and connection. My work is informed by Hakomi and Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a highly effective and research based method for couples. I have experience working trust and intimacy issues, chronic conflict, affairs and infidelity, communication issues, parenting issues, and addiction issues in relationships.

Please connect with me if you would like to learn more about how I can help you and your partner. To schedule a free initial consultation click here.

“Matt is an extraordinary therapist. He is compassionate, kind, and is able to work with very deep experiences. He uses many different approaches to working with clients, but is always able to really get to what is at the heart of things.”
“Informed by the Hakomi method and mindfulness, Matt has a particular knack for understanding how to integrate experience into therapy, turning talk therapy into a therapy of change.”